Merry Christmas and Happy New Year starting with Flash Fiction Saturday Night in the Museum

I’m recycling this picture from last year mainly because it’s one of my favourite photos of Armagh and also because it’s probably the only snow we’re going to see in Armagh this Christmas and that’s fine with me because Christmas and New Years means many of us are on the roads travelling to visit loved ones and the snow makes all that difficult and dangerous. As much as I do love snow, I have an additional reason for wanting mild weather over the next few weeks – our next Flash Fiction event has drawn writers not just from as far away as Tyrone and Newry, but Flash Fiction Armagh goes international in 2019 with 3 brilliant writers coming all the way from Paris, France especially to read at Flash Fiction Saturday Night at the Museum!

We are excited to announce our line up for this event taking place in the Armagh County Museum on Saturday, 5th January 2019 at 7 pm. It’s a truly international crew this time with writers laying claim to a total of (at least) 6 nationalities and 2 continents! Flash Fiction Armagh presents:


Omaya Nasser  End of the Line
Mark Brownlee Armagh
Kieran McGurk Blobby
Seán Farry Cás na dteifeach – Tá dhá thaobh ar an bhád and Feidhmiú  an Ranga
Sue Divin  Says Himself
Elaine Toal Revisiting
Karen Mooney A More Sustainable Future
Malachi Kelly Mother Son and Ghost
Trish Bennet Kilty Relics
Jay Faulkner Always and Forever
P.V. Wolseley L’ Origine du Monde Speaks and La Grande Odalisque
Nina Francus To Wander, lost
Anne Mc Master Gardeners World
Réamonn Ó Ciaráin   Bás Chúchulainn

Have a peaceful Christmas and a wonderful New Year, and here’s hoping that 2019 brings us all a world with more tolerance and love, and don’t forget to join in the Revolution of Tenderness where you can. Click here to read a little Flash Fiction Trilogy I wrote a couple of years back…

Byddi Lee

A Little Flash Fiction Trilogy for Christmas

The Spirit of Christmas Past

There's a vicious want in the child's eyes. She's standing there in a fever of longing, and you know, you just know, that if she and her brothers don't get every damn item on their letter to Santa there'll be a meltdown. But there'll be a meltdown regardless because no amount of money or begging is going to fill that last request. Maybe you shouldn't get anything from their list at all. Blame that fecker Santa. Tell the kids Santa must have mixed up the letters. But what would be the point in that? They'd be worse off thinking that Santa gave some other kids what they wanted most. And your heart breaks because you want it too and you can't have it either.

Your weird chat about trade unions last week makes so much sense now. Your daughter, two years senior to the five-year-old twin boys, has decided there is more power in solidarity. She's convinced that this joint letter will bring them their heart's desire.

Your eyes fill at the wobbly words. The three bikes are easy, pricey but hell, after the year they've had, sure feckit. The Paw Patrol Sea Patrol was an obvious concession to the boys. She only puts down two of those and one LOL Surprise Big Surprise for her. That had you in a sweat. You knew it would be tough to source my sister in London came up trumps on that one.

But that final line broke you.

In her best writing, with a fair bit of rubbing out and redoing, she'd written and underlined, "Please please Santa could you call for Mummy in heaven and bring her home to us on your sleigh."

***

The Spirit of Christmas Present

Joan walks slowly, trying to avoid the puddles. Her shoes let in and even though she thinks her nyloned feet can't get any colder, slowing down might help decrease the throb in her joints. If she could just get someone in the housing executive to listen, to fix that broken heater in her bedroom, maybe she'd get a good night's sleep. The sofa wrecks her back, but at least she doesn't cough as much in the living room as she does in the chilled air of the bedroom.

Three young ones barrel by. They don't touch her but she wobbles. Amid a fizz of panic, she stops to steady herself. If she goes down, who would pick her up? Maybe she'd get a few days in a warm hospital. Maybe her son would take time from his fancy life in London to visit her.

She only came out today because she wanted to see the Christmas lights in town and it's mild. Milder than last week, when the snow sent slivers of ice into her very marrow. Thank heavens for the thaw and the wee bit of winter sun, gaudy and ineffective it may be, but it still gives her a lift.

The chemist shop is warm. She hopes there a long queue but not too long that she can't get a seat. Long enough to warm up though. Thank God, her prescriptions are free. But the pain of her arthritis doesn't bite nearly as deep as loneliness. Was there a prescription for that?

***

The Spirit of Christmas Future

So many on the streets. Cold, continuous, freezing hard all day. God, what must it be like at night?

I want to help. But I'm scared. I'm speaking a different language, in my North Face down-jacket and my Calvin Klein handbag. Different worlds, close proximity. Are they judging me as I try not to stare, try to avoid eye contact? Why do I care as I traipse up the stairs - I'm to fat to allow myself to use the lift - to my cosy apartment on the fourth floor?

It's ridiculous that I care what these strangers think of me. But the truth is, I care about what I think of me, and as I put myself in their positions, however inaccurately, I then become my own judge and jury. I have to get out of London, be somewhere where I don't feel so guilty. Charity begins at home, doesn't it? I want to be with my brother, back home, comforting him in his grief, but I have to be here, where I'm making the best money, living the best life. But is it the best life?

I'm mad now at myself. The apartment is too warm, too clean and too empty. The dining table stretches out from our "spots" at the corner. Too big, much too big for just the two of us.

I'll tell my husband tonight about the tickets.

I need to go home. I need to see my brother, my niece and nephews more this Christmas than ever. An aunt is no substitute for a mother, a sister not the same companion as a wife, but we'll all benefit from a hug and time together, this first year without my sister-in-law.

I also suspect, my mother-in-law isn't doing as well as she claims in her cool weekly Sunday morning calls. 
"Don't let me keep you back from Mass," she says every week. 
"Don't worry," we answer too quickly. "And how are you?" 
"Fine, fine," she says, also too quickly.


The apartment door opens. A cheery "Hola." 
I roll my eyes. It's all the Spanish he knows, but he's trying out that Duo lingo app. Last week it was Russian, God help us

I open my laptop and say, "Honey, please don't get angry but these came up and they were such a great deal and we both have a few days to take and I just thought..."

His face drops. He purses his lips, scans my screen, scratches his head.

I hate arguments but I need this."Say something."

"Just a minute."

I can barely breathe as he places his laptop in his "spot" and waits as centuries pass for it boot up.
"It's okay." He smiles. "Mine are refundable."

Joy swells to bursting. The orange Easy Jet logo lends a glow to his smile, or perhaps the glow is the intense love I have for this man in this moment. 

Home... We're going home for Christmas. 

While the above stories are all complete works of fiction, I hope it serves to illustrate that we all have a different version of Christmas. For many, it's a hard time in ways we can't imagine. Let's at least acknowledge this for the broken heartened, the lonely, the victims of violence, those who suffer at the hands of addiction and for those who, for whatever reason, find it hard to celebrate Christmas.

There are ways to help. How each of us does so is up to ourselves. But a smile, a kind word, a visit can be worth pure gold when we don't even realize it.

However, I also want to say that human kindness should be for life - not just for Christmas.

To donate to the Samaritans please click here. 

To donate to the St Vincent De Paul please click here. 

To donate to the Simon Community please click here.

I hope you have a peaceful and love-filled Christmas, and dreams fulfilled in the New Year. 

Christmas Reflections on a snowy afternoon in Gosford Forest Park, Armagh

Byddi Lee

Christmas Spirit - Post a "Helpie"

I've noticed more awareness on social media this year of how hard Christmas can be for people. I understand that, having found Christmas difficult for a variety of reasons as last years post can show. Regardless of what is missing in your life, this time of year throws the haves and have-not into stark contrast, whether it is missing a family, parent, a spouse, or loved ones in general.

The world has had a tumultuous year, 2016 gave us Brexit and Trump, and stole away so many beloved famous people ( David Bowie, Terry Wogan, Prince and the list goes on) but on a personal level, I had a good year, a year that ends with me living in Paris and loving it. This year for the first time in 8 years, I will go back home to Ireland and spend Christmas with My Mum, My Sister, Bro-In-Law and nephews, not to mention my extended family and friends. I'm actually excited about Christmas, thrilled to see the lights here in Paris, shop at the quaint Christmas markets, and hear live music on the streets. Carols still make me cry - I don't know why - they just do...nostalgia, I guess.

Christmas pulls at my heart now in a different way. I no longer mourn for myself. Even though I miss My Dad, I can accept that this is the circle of life, especially when I'm now planning the Christmas-present shopping-trip with my nephews instead of My Dad (though I'd say there's less chance of that expedition ending in Red Neds with a Guinness and a Buckfast chaser - Cheers Dad!)

I still can't help thinking about those people who hurt at Christmas, so I put this little reminder together.

While it's worth being mindful of the pictures we post on social media at Christmas, (or any time of the year) I think it's a shame to curb our joyful moments - the kids with their presents, the food on the table, the friends around the hearth, what's left of the ham after the dog has stolen it, etc. These are beautiful moments and worth sharing (well, maybe not the stolen ham...) But perhaps we can do better, do something that may actually help the less fortunate without us needing to run a marathon, or climb a mountain or pour a bucket of water over our heads.

How about this year, while we are posting our happy moments online, we take a moment to find a link to the donation page of a charity of our choice and post that too. How much you donate is of course your own business. But posting the link will remind you and those who see it to make a small (to you) donation that may make all the difference to someone else.

We may not be able to individually cure cancer, help the dying, save refugees from drowning, stop war, feed the world, shelter the homeless, comfort the lonely, but small actions add up to larger ones and we can all play a part. So while you are posting that selfie on Christmas Day, think also of posting a "helpie!"

Feel free to use one of the links below (these are my favorite charities):-

And for dollar donations:-

Wishing you a happy, fulfilling and peaceful Christmas.

Byddi Lee

Christmas Displays in Paris

Even the Christmas decorations are extremely artful in Paris.

 

The Galeries Lafaytette Paris has combined art, Christmas decor and environmental education in their display, which celebrates a polar winter to raise awareness of climate-change.

 

All the decorations are made from paper. I wondered if it was to highlight the importance of recycling. Unfortunately, the website falls short in its explanation of why the artist (yep, a real artist was commission to create the display, not just someone from PR sticking up tinsel in-between interviews for hiring seasonal staff!)

Evidently in the future the poor polar bears will have to learn how to row boats since ice bergs won't be available but at least the New Paper Titanic will be safe - silver linings, right?

And I wasn't sure why they had cable cars in an ice cave but like me and most art, I probably missed the point!

With this push for environmental awareness, what's ironic, but hardly surprising, is the complete fail to discourage people from buying goods they neither need, want or maybe cannot afford. Consumerism is a huge a threat to our planet, but hey! It's Christmas!

These kids were certainly enchanted.

The most universal symbol of Christmas here in Paris is without a doubt le sapin, the Christmas tree. Galeries Lafayette has a giant paper one beneath their stunning stain-glass dome.

Everywhere you look, there are trees...

...depicted in some shape or form.

Hung on the wall...

In red...

In white...

In macaroons!

 

Or other edibles (I think!)

Fashioned from pallets...

 

Or just sticks...

 

Or just a triangle of fir branches will get the message across...

 

Multi-story ones made with lights...

And accompanied by giant moose - to see the scale of these moose, here's one with humans inside Les Halles - three stories underground in the world's largest train station! Is it any wonder we were lost inside it for the first month?

 Even Mc Donalds has a pretty nice tree display.

Le BHV Marais went with a ski theme. I'm not sure what their connection with Val d'Isere is, but I can't fault their taste in ski resorts!

They have Santa Claus doing yoga on a ski lift.

But I don't feel that the Santa's are as well depicted as the Christmas trees - really, would you trust your kids with this guy?

And this Santa is just plain lewd!

Not sure what the weasel was supposed to represent! Is it a comment on the fashion industry in general?

 And perhaps with all that Christmas window-shopping you'd like to have your lunch here?

 Byddi Lee

Ba Humbug!

In six years of blogging, I've only written two posts about Christmas. One post from 2010 featured our outdoor crib, or creche as they call it in the US (which initially made me kind of nervous. It sounded like the kind of place where people would drop their kids off.) It had gotten damaged in storms in previous years, but last year was a catastrophe! The Holy Family just couldn't bounce back from that, and so we gave up.

It seems we're not the only ones to give up on the Holy Family. It says a lot about a society where Christians have decided to replace the image of the Holy Family on their Christmas cards with images of themselves. So it did make me happy to receive one card with the Baby Jesus on it. My aunts are pretty great about
A) sending me cards (especially when I've stopped sending them) and
B) sending me nativity scenes - my favorite Christmas image.

In my opinion, only Christians have the power to take Christ out of Christmas, and it happens in subtle ways. Presents become more important that prayers, and Santa has become the main man. For example, one of the main items on the news here last night reported on how a school trip to a coffee shop in San Jose to see Santa was cancelled because a person who was Non-Christian objected to the trip. What the heck is Santa doing hanging out in a coffee shop in San Jose anyways?

I urge you to read the news item yourselves, not least because I may misrepresent it because I'm self-admittedly bitter and twisted about Christmas, but I believe that it comes down to this:

1) How educational was the trip? Was it really a great learning experience? Perhaps - if those children don't often experience coffee-shop culture in San Jose!

2) If the mom who opposed it, did so because all religions were not included, then I disagree with her principle. Santa is NOT a religion! He may be derived from a Christian Saint - St. Nicholas, but more often he's a marketing tool for the retail trade (authors included!) If she's speaking culturally, she may have a point, but then wouldn't it be MORE important for her child to take part and learn about other cultures?

3) Is the parent who is staging a walk-out really a good example to her children in this season of goodwill? Is that what Jesus would have wanted?

4) What happened to "They will know we are Christians by our love"? Now it seems to be "They will know we are Christians by the amount of lights we have on our houses, the size of our Christmas trees, the amount of presents we exchange and how much food and drink we can consume."

For people who are not Christian, I don't blame them for not wanting to be wished a Happy Christmas - though I've never actually experienced a Non-Christian object to the well meaning wish. My Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Pagan and atheist friends seem to be happy to receive my Happy Christmas greeting. It's the other Christians who seem to have issue with it!

For me, it sums up how ridiculous the whole Christmas/Holidays debacle now is - especially here in the USA.

The other Christmas blog I wrote was posted in 2011 - It's title was taken from a Gone With The Wind quote that I love - "The best days are when babies come."

I remember writing that with a heart full of hope that the following Christmas I'd be blogging about Santa coming to my baby.

But Santa didn't come, nor will he ever.

By the end of 2012, I'd learned two things.

I'd never have children and I'd never have the Christmas I'd always dreamed off.

And so I began to hate Christmas...

I hate getting the cards with other people's children on them, reminding me of my repeated failure to have my own. (So forgive me if my comments above have offended you - now hopefully you have a better understanding of where I'm coming from.)

I hate the tree with presents under it for grown-ups, presents we neither wanted nor needed.

I hate buying presents in a society that has an excess of everything, in stark contrast to a world were the majority suffer from not having enough.

I hate unwrapping presents and contributing to waste and landfill.

I hate pretending to be happy at parties.

I hate those "What are you doing for Christmas conversations?" that feel like an admission of more failure as a woman, because I didn't want to spend the whole damn day cooking.

I hate going to Mass because the carols make me cry. (Even though I really love them.)

I hate missing my family back home, but feel they are better off without me dragging them down with my gloom. (Even though my sister is wonderful and really understands me.)

I hate missing my Dad and knowing I'll never laugh with him again.

I hate Santa Claus and his fat jolly ho-fucking-hos!

I hate myself for my whole gratitude fail. My life is great, when I'm not wallowing in self pity.

I hate the look on my Husbands face, because he knows I'm sad, and he feels like he can't make me happy.

But he does make me happy...

In this whole cauldron of hate, he is my flotation device, the person that stops me from giving up and allowing myself to sink into it. He is the person who understands how painful and empty Christmas is for me, and who doesn't judge me for it.

I wrestled with the decision to write this soul-baring post, mostly because discussing infertility is so taboo. To not have children raises so many questions from those who have. I do feel sorry for the mother who inadvertently asks me "How many kids do you have?"

The only reason I don't discuss my infertility more openly is because the world doesn't want to know. I've seen women flinch when I have brought it up (I rarely bring it up with men at all). I've actually  heard women gasp (in a "Did she just say that?" sense) when I've talked openly about it. I think it's because they believe it is inappropriate for me to mention that I wanted children I could never have - how dare I bring the conversation down to such a sad level.

Yet, I've sat through many conversations where the opening sentence has been, "If you had children, you'd know...." and bitten my tongue and swallowed back words that I still don't know if I should be writing...even on my own blog, on a subject of my choosing...

Which was?

Oh, yes, Christmas... Wow! Two taboos at once - dissing Christmas and discussing infertility - I really am the Grinch.

This year I'm not putting up decorations or a tree. Our lemon tree looks beautiful at the moment - the lemons look like baubles. So I'm making do with that.

I love the symbolism - life giving you lemons!

Before I sign off, I'd just like to say this Christmas think about the people who don't have it all -

the people who, for whatever reason, don't have their family around the tree on Christmas Day,

the people who feel as if Christmas opens a hole in their heart so big it swallows you up and spits you out

the people who have no homes

the people who have no love

the people who will cry this year

the people who mourn their loved ones

the people at the bottom of a bottle and their loved ones who watch and grieve for them

the people who may know this is their last Christmas (as I write this I remember being with my Daddy facing that realization on 25 December 2007)

the people who have lost hope

the people suffering war

the people who hate (even if only for a little while, as in my case)
 
Because when we hate, we lose ourselves, and that might be what hurts me most at Christmas.

So I won't wish you a Merry Christmas... I'll wish you hope and happiness for everyday of the year because life is a struggle for everyone at sometime. We just don't always see the hurts of another person. Most days of the year, I try to acknowledge that I'm happy with my life - but today - with Christmas just around the corner, well ... ya know...

Byddi Lee